The maharashtrian millennials, to some extent, have been through the process where the boy and his family visits the girl’s family and have the typical ‘kande pohe programme’. This programme is a fully monitored dating setup where the parents (who will, during this whole episode, constantly hold on to that facial expression with a forced smile mixed with persuasion) will ask their children to go and talk with each other, one to one, somewhere alone. And then the so called ‘children’ will go find a relatively private spot in the house where they can finally escape the turmoil of the rather annoying family talks and have a decent tete-a-tete. This setup could have been relevant until a few years but not now
Come today, and the traditional norms are changing. Today, the boy and girl first meet each other before their parents do. Of course, the parents play a key role where they enroll their son’s or daughter’s name in one of the marathi matrimonial websites and keep suggesting and shortlisting for them to choose from. A suitable match is then identified with the help of details provided on the matrimonial profile such as age, education, family background, work profile, income, location, zodiac and several other aspects. Once a fair match is established, a call is made using the number provided to schedule a meeting. Hereon, the reins are passed on to the children. In this way, they can have a decent tete-a-tete in a setup of their choice!
Lesson 1: Select a place of choice, not convenience
For Him: Ask her where she would like to meet. Always give the ladies the first choice, it is gentlemanly. You can always come up with counter suggestions if you don’t find the option feasible. Secondly, her choice of place reflects her nature to some extent. If she suggests an average place just because it is equally far for both of you, she is probably an adjusting person. If she selects an expensive place and to her convenience, she might be a very selective person. If the girl is indecisive, she is shy and probably an introvert. But if she is willing to travel any length just to meet you, then she is either a very selfless person or desperate to get married.
For Her: When you are asked to suggest a place, be assertive. Men like women who are clear and vocal. If you are not sure, ask the boy to give you some time and get back to them in some time. Your suggestion should send out a message to the guy about your personality. But don’t go overboard by suggesting a uber cool place just to appear cool. Remember, what you show is what you get.
Lesson 2: Eating manners
For Him: Ask her what she would like to have and then reveal your order. You may suggest her something from the menu. This is also the right time to ask her if she has any special food choices such as pure veg, vegan etc. Once the food is at the table, observe how she eats. These are simple giveaways of a person’s persona. Lastly, be the one to pay the complete bill unless your date ate like a monster, in which case you can promptly ask her to share.
For Her: When you are asked what you would like to have, never say “anything is fine” - sounds too dull. Always scroll through the menu and order a food which is easy to eat and light. Being a foodie is all good, but not a date. Order a side drink preferably a coffee or a mocktail to keep your mouth hydrated, depending on the time. Once done, always insist on sharing the bill (even though you won’t really have to). This really impresses the guy who is now more than happy to pay the bill himself.
Lesson 3: Asking personal questions
For Him: Try to break the ice with boring but mandatory questions like, “How are you?” “How long have you been staying in Mumbai? (or whichever place you are in right now)” , “where are you originally from?” and then traverse to topics like “Do you watch this series called...?” “Where do you guys hang out in the weekend?” “Do you have any hobbies?” and then finally come to the sensitive questions like “Have you had relationships before” “Are you sure about going forward with us” “Can we meet again later?” and so on! And yes, don’t forget to talk about yourself too!
For Her: Do not nod to each and every question, do not also be arrogant. Ask him questions like, “How many members in your family”, “How long have you been working” “Do you intend to switch location” “Do you intend to live with your family” and so on. You can go on to ask, what do you expect from your wife, what are your cultural obligations, eating habits etc. It is also perfectly fine to ask him “How much do you earn?”. Remember, it is you who are going to stay with him and his family, better know them as much as you can.
Once these basic three steps are covered, you have done most of your research work. It is now that you can yourself see whether the partner is suitable for you or not. If you guys got along really well, then ask your parents to go ahead and set up their meeting. There is nothing more mature than arranging the marriage yourself. If you are looking for a buddhist marriage bureau , or a maratha marriage bureau or any other caste marathi marriage bureau , then PavitraVivah.com is maharashtra’s favorite online marathi matrimonial site. So what are you waiting for, register on the website and find your date today!